Is It Over For Herman?

By Jake Jakubuwski

Copyright, 2011

Is Herman Cain gonna drop out of the race for president?

Like numerous others, I don’t know; but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

If he’s “guilty” of the accusations leveled against him AND if he did have a 13-year affair with Ms. White — I’m of the opinion he should just get out while that getting’ is good. That is, before the GOP forces him out or he becomes the laughingstock of the primaries and the target of every other candidate who will try to explain that they are more “moral” and family oriented then Herman Cain.

I’ve read a lot about the “reassessment” that he feels compelled to make regarding his candidacy. Yeah, he does need to redefine his “mission” and prove he is trustworthy. Much of what he has been saying indicates that he needs to talk the situation over with his wife, family and campaign staff.

At another point he says he has spoken with his wife and she “forgives” him. Of what? I mean if he didn’t’ do it … what’s to forgive? If he did do it, then forgiveness is in order.

But then, how do we, the electorate, feel about his integrity? If he didn’t do it he’s gonna have a helluva battle in front of him to regain our confidence. If he did do it; then he’s apparently just as big a prevaricator as any politician anywhere — of any persuasion or affiliation.

Personally, I think he’s gonna announce his withdrawal from the race. But we won’t know until we hear him say it. What intrigues me is what he’s saying to his wife. Because I’ve got sort of a warped way of thinking, I thought it would be fun to speculate on what he might have to say to his wife about his peccadilloes, or lack thereof.

GUILTY: “Gloria, I know this looks bad but I swear I never did nothing with any of those women and it’s all a smear campaign designed to besmirch my sterling reputation as a family man, business man and candidate!” (This being said while the florist is unloading a whole truck — full of roses).

NOT GUILTY: “Gloria, I know this looks bad, but I swear I never did nothing with any of those women and it’s all a smear campaign designed to besmirch my sterling reputation as a family man, business man and candidate”” (This being said while the florist is unloading a whole truck — full of roses).

GUILTY: “Gloria, you know that I have never, ever, looked at another woman in all the years we’ve been married. You are the only woman in my life and we have to fight this thing together in order to win this election so you can be the First Lady of theUnited States!” (This being said while an armored delivery service brings in a matched set of diamond earrings, necklace and bracelet from Tiffany’s”).

NOT GUILTY: “Gloria, you know that I have never, ever, looked at another woman in all the years we’ve been married. You are the only woman in my life and we have to fight this thing together in order to win this election so you can be the First Lady of theUnited States!” (This being said while an armored delivery service brings in a matched set of diamond earrings, necklace and bracelet from Tiffany’s”).

GUILTY: “Gloria, I know you’re upset, but I can explain! The important thing right now is not my candidacy but our marriage and presenting a united front to all those vultures in the media who would do anything to destroy us and your chances to be First Lady!”

NOT GUILTY:  “Gloria, I know you’re upset, but I can explain! The important thing right now is not my candidacy but our marriage and presenting a united front to all those vultures in the media who would do anything to destroy us and your chances to be First Lady!”

 Yep! I think Mr. Cain’s got himself into one sorry mess (Whether he’s guilty or not) and he’s gonna have to do some fancy dancin’ to come out of this with a whole skin. 

On the other hand, if he does drop out, and he does close down his campaign, what happens to any of those millions of donated dollars that might be left over in his “War” chest? It could be that there’s enough there to permit him to have earned a fairly good “wage” while campaigning.

In spite of what he might like to do with that money (Like pay for all those roses, jewelry, trips to fights in Las Vegas and expensive dinners.), he’s prohibited by the Ethics Reform Act of 1989 to use that money for personal reasons. Maybe he could figure out a way to give it to Ms. White, or use it to pay off his other accusers.

The ERA mandates some pretty stiff penalties regarding the disposal of that money. So, if he spent any of that money contrary to the guidelines of the Ethics Reform Act, he could be clobbered by the FEC and the IRS…unless of course he would stoop to some sort of creative bookkeeping.

GUILTY: “Mr. Revenuer, do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?”

Personally, I liked a lot of what the guy had to say. I’m not saying I would have voted for him, but he seemed to have his head on pretty straight. I think that all these accusations that have surfaced  tend  to indicate that his libido was as out of whack as his “9-9-9” idea. 

Maybe Cain should watch this video. It wasn’t written for folks like him but might be apropos …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc

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