There really is nothing boring about a snowstorm

Note: In January of 1993, “The Storm of the Century” brushed our area and I wrote the following piece that appeared in The Henderson Dispatch and the Oxford Ledger. This article later became one chapter in a book that I published in 2008 titled: “Lockin’ Up!” Just recently, a Face Book Friend posted and asked if anyone remembered that storm. I did  and  thought I would share this article with all my FB friends because…

 There’s Nothing Boring About A Snowstorm!

By Jake Jakubuwski

(Copyright, 1993, 2013. All Rights Reserved)

            Recently, when the “Storm of the Century” brushed our area and showed us the first snow that we had seen in several years, my wife, Christie, her aunt and I sat watching the snowflakes run frenziedly before the wind.  Listening to the wind howl around the corners of the house and rattle at the storm windows with an almost demented arrogance, made us more appreciative of our warm home, hot coffee, and the fact that none us needed to be out in the storm.

            About 9:30 that night, after being silent for most of the day, the telephone made its own arrogant and insistent demand on our warm, cozy evening.  Since we had either called or been called by our various relatives who wanted to know if we had been flooded-out, snowed-in or wind-whipped, I knew that I was about to hear from Mr. Murp       Y’all know Mr. Murphy!  He’s the fellow that causes unexpected things to happen at the most inopportune times.  That evening, I’m certain that he was cavorting on the wind with Mother Nature and getting ready to interrupt my cozy evening.

            I do know — for a fact — that Murphy and Mother Nature will team up occasionally and concoct some memorable prank to keep us mortals from getting bored with our lot in life. I would have been happy to try to dissuade them of that notion, but they don’t usually check in with their victims before doing something unnecessary to disrupt a perfectly satisfactory and enjoyable evening.

            The two of them must’ve thought that I was becoming bored with a warm fire, a comfortable chair, my wife, her aunt and the dazzling acrobatic dance the snowflakes were doing outside our win

            At any rate, the persistence of the ringing telephone was undeniable.  When I answered, Mother Nature disguised her howling hilarity as the voice of a distraught young lady who, when she had gotten off work, discovered she had locked her keys in her car.  In the background, I could hear Mr. Murphy moaning in an effort to contain his mirth.

            Now my truck is about as cold natured as a green lizard, and it took a little coaxing to get it started and warmed up to the point where I could get to where M&M were waiting.  Then, I couldn’t get the car open because the door linkages were frozen solid and absolutely refused to budge.  I drove the lady home, and went back home myself.

            I didn’t know it but Mr. Murphy and Mother Nature weren’t quite finished having fun yet.  As I walked in the door, Christie handed me the phone.  It was now Murphy disguising his voice as that of the young lady’s spouse.  It seems that not only were her keys locked in the car, his were too!  To complicate matters his wife had left her purse, money, credit cards, etc., in the car.  Was there anyway I could help?

            So it was back to the couple’s house to pick up the husband this time.  Then back to where the car was located.  Now things really got, as my granddaughter would say, “funner!”  The car had been out in the snow and the freezing rain all day.

            In order to “break” the ice inside the door panel, I had to crank up my generator, and using Christie’s hair dryer, blow hot air down the inside of the door.  This took about thirty minutes while Mother Nature had her friend, Wind, blow his icy breath up my trouser leg and down my collar.  In the meantime, she threw a snow flurry or two at me.  Finally, I got the door open and sent Mr. Murphy’s unwitting agent home.

            Cold, somewhat damp and in a slightly less then humorous frame of mind, I walked in the door. Yep!  Christie handed me the phone again!  This time it was the young lady.  Her husband has gotten home all right, but he was still outside in the car!  It seemed he could not get either one of the car doors open!  Help!  This time, the Green Lizard was warm and ready!

            When I arrived at the house, I walked up to the driver’s side door (through 8 or ten inches of snow), tried the handle and pulled the door open!  The reason the young lady’s husband got “trapped” was because the inside handle to the door was broken off (not by me, folks! They bought the car that way).  The windows and passenger door were frozen shut, and nobody thought to try the driver’s side handle!

            As I drove home I thought of the old adage about “all’s well that ends well.”  Was that gleeful giggling I heard on the edge of the wind?  Nah! Surely Mr. Murphy and Mother Nature had had enough fun with me that night

            They were … until about 5 a.m., when they had Wind knock down a power line.  That little trick shut down our electrically fired gas furnace.  Believe me!  I wasn’t bored!  Cold maybe, but I was not bored.

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SHAMLESS COMMERCIALISM! 

Author’s Note: “Lockin’ Up!” was the title of a weekly newspaper column that I wrote regarding personal security tips and ways to thwart the depredations of Tommy and Tessie Thug. Those articles (which appeared from 1992 until 1994) also included some personal social commentary about crime, punishment and even an unkind word or two about our system of justice and how it seemed, even in the early 90’s that the judicial deck seemed to be stacked against the good guys and gals.

 The book is currently available as an eBook downloadable directly to your computer for only $9.99.

To purchase Lockin’ Up! or any of my books, videos, PowerPoint presentations and eBooklets, visit: http://www.purejake.com/catalog/.  Y’all take care and have a prosperous and SAFE New Year!