Politics: The Birds and The Bees 101

By: Jake Jakubuwski

Copyright, 2011

 

I must make this disclaimer: I really don’t feel I can judge anyone for their dalliance in what, I believe has, colloquially, been called “Mattress Thrashing.” How I feel about the “act” and the sexual orientation of the participants doesn’t matter — particularly if the dalliance is a consensual act between adults. 

Not everyone feels that way. I understand that too. Regardless, the birds, bees and mankind in general “do it” without regard to whatever the consequences may be. That’s their personal choice.

But if they make that decision then they need to be ready to take the consequences of their actions without complaining that someone (Usually, the “media”) is trying to smear them.

 Throughout history, kings, commoners, princes, politicians, paupers, preachers, teachers and a Titanic-load of other folks  have been caught messing around with someone they shouldn’t have been messing around with.

It’s a fact. It’s happened time after time and will continue to happen until the final curtain falls.

Nonetheless, it seems like nothing getsAmerica’s attention faster — and their pulses racing — then the bedroom antics of political figures. Look what happened to Herman Cain. I wrote a piece comparing Cain and Hart — both of whom threw their pants into the ring rather then their hats. Well, to be fair, Cain’s accusers still haven’t proven their claims but the innuendo was enough to bring him down. 

Throughout history, sexual proclivities have scuttled many promising political careers.

Judges, senators, presidents, governors, congressman, mayors, political staffers, assemblymen and representatives have all been caught up in some sort of sleazy tabloid sheet escapade that put the squelch on their careers. Lately, even the main-stream press is joining in the ink-throwing and career bashing by reporting the higher profile entanglements.

Surprisingly, some of those who became entwined in a sexual liaison/scandal survived and went on with their careers. While others, bit the dust and lost their office, credibility and more. Both types (Winners and losers?) have left an historical legacy of lechery for their contemporary  counterparts.

Anyway, I got curious and thought I’d see what I could find out about the depth of the pandering problem among politicians. Not that they would be any worse then the population in general but would be far more likely to attract attention. I found thatAmerica’s pols truly were following a long tradition of between-the-sheets shenanigans that goes back to Thomas Jefferson!

Actually, the issue probably goes much further back then Jefferson but, in the interests of space considerations, I had to have a beginning, a middle and an end to this passionately pursued, lasciviousness by America’s leaders — or it might have turned into a book rather than a blog! 

The most recent honorable (?) mention would go to Herman Cain and Anthony Wiener but for some of the more memorable, we have to go back to William Jefferson Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and the infamous Cuban cigar trick. Before the time BillClintonestablished relations with Monica, and while still governor ofAlabama, he had apparently honed his expertise with Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones…

I’m sure that many of us remember Gary Hart and the good ship Monkey Business whereGary monkeyed around with Donna Rice.Gary was caught out shortly after challenging the major papers of the day to “follow” him around if they thought he was involved in any hanky-panky. They did and he was caught with Donna cozying up to each other…

Wilbur Mills was Chairman of theHouse Waysand Means Committee. Even with all of his Senatorial clout he couldn’t cover up his drunken drive around theTidalBasinwith Fanne Fox, a well known stripper. Fanne was billed as “The Argentine Firecracker.” Later Mills held a press conference from Fanne’s dressing room in The Pilgrim Theater (Boston). Soon after this second “incident” Mills stepped down from his Chairmanship.

Thomas Jefferson, our third president and author of the Declaration of Independence fathered a child. The mother was Sally Hemmings, a 17 year-old slave belonging toJefferson. Now, we could probably excuse Tom from the scandal part since slave owners were permitted wide latitude with regard to how they “treated” their property…

Brock Adams, a Democratic senator from Washington, decided not to seek re-election after eight women alleged misconduct that included harassment, sexual assault and rape!

Jim West, former Mayor of Spokane, WA (Must be something in the water, up there) and

Washington State Senate Majority Leader (With a strong anti-gay bias) sought to meet men on the Internet and allegedly molested two young boys while serving as a scoutmaster.

Walter Jenkins, a long-time aide to Lyndon Johnson, was forced to resign after he was caught having sex with another man in a YMCA bathroom.

Grover Clevelandfathered an illegitimate child before running for President. His detractors mounted a campaign issue that didn’t stick. The “smear” was based on the jingle: “Ma, Ma, where’s my pa?” Grover supporters came back with their own ditty: “Gone to the White House Ha, ha, ha.” 

That’s just a sampling of what’s been going on behind the scenes in the White House, governor’s mansions, congress, the senate and political offices around the country — throughout history. 

Today, these folks seem to get caught more and more frequently as smart phones, digital cameras and iPads record their shenanigans. The foregoing is just a small sampling of sexual scandals among politicians and it is not meant to be judgmental.

Personally, I don’t care what they do — with the exception of child abuse and forced sex — or who they do it with (Provided it’s an act between consenting adults and does not include children or forcing, by threat or action, someone to play their twisted games) as long as they do the job that they were elected to do.

The reality is that all too often the sheets that they shake, and the persons they share those sheets with; become more important to them than almost anything else. That will tend to negatively influence their ability to do their job properly.

Like I said, this is only a sampling. If you would like to see the “Top 53 American Political Sex Scandals” click on this link:

http://www.politickernj.com/files/Top53SexScandals.pdf  

Some of these escapades will make you giggle in your grits and others might make you shake your head in wonder. They all indicate that the “mighty” are only human, too.

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